


An Interesting Proposal

by petiteneko



Category: One Piece
Genre: Alcohol, Humor, M/M, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-03
Updated: 2017-03-03
Packaged: 2018-09-27 23:54:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10057640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/petiteneko/pseuds/petiteneko
Summary: If anybody told Smoker that he would have a casual conversation with his boss at a pirate's wedding, he would have thought them beyond insane.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I had this written awhile ago but finally typed it up! Enjoy!

There was something unusual as of late. And by unusual, Smoker really did mean unusual.

Mugiwara no Luffy was missing.

There was no sign of him. It had been weeks since anybody had heard from this rambunctious supernova. (And how he hated that term. It was as if they were trying to _praise_ him. A pirate!) And, knowing Mugiwara no Luffy, there was just _no way_ somebody like him could go without hearing about the idiotic or crazy things he was up to.

And to make matters worse, there _had_ been sightings of his ship, but the rambunctious captain was _nowhere_ in sight. And even the Polar Tang that typically followed the Strawhats’ ship was gone. And to make things even more confusing, Nico Robin – the devil child – was also gone. (While it wasn’t too difficult for that woman to disappear from sight, it was the timing that was unusual.)

There were rumours of course. Ones of Nico Robin and Monkey D. Luffy eloping off somewhere. About how there was a fight and the Strawhats and Hearts pirate alliance was over. Or even the craziest of things involving Robin and the Hearts pirates. Typically either a kidnapping or another mention of eloping.

Smoker, however, knew better.

No, there were no eloping or potential kidnappings, and he doubted that there were any disputes of any kind.

For he had caught the captains far too many times making out in some elusive place. (Typically forests. Why forests, he didn’t fucking know. He wasn’t being paid to figure out why pirates made out in forests, just to capture them, and evidently while making out in said forests.)

If anything, it was _Mugiwara and Trafalgar_ that were probably off eloping, in his opinion anyway.

Although that begged the question: just _where_ was Nico Robin? For some reason, Smoker knew if he found Mugiwara no Luffy he’d find her.

Mugiwara no Luffy wasn’t the type of person to abandon his crew or friends after all.

.xxx.

When Smoker had a lead that there were two men who resembled the two captains, he followed it.

Of course their ship – the Thousand Sunny – was nowhere in sight, but after _weeks_ of sheer nothingness… Well Smoker couldn’t just turn it down.

(And besides, Mugiwara hadn’t been spotted on his ship anyway so it wasn’t a sure dissuading sign anyway.)

After wandering the villages, he finally did find the couple. (Oddly enough, _not_ in a forest – and yes, he checked there first.) No, they were in a tailor’s shop. Apparently Trafalgar Law was being measured for something.

The tailor was just putting away the tape when he stormed into the shop, jutte at the ready.

“Ah! Torao!” Mugiwara piped up when he saw him, pointing at him. “We gotta go! Smokey’s here!”

…How he hated that god damned nickname.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Trafalgar had grabbed Mugiwara by the collar. (Don’t fucking start making out god damn it!) “ _Room._ ”

He was _not_ going to let Trafalgar use his powers to…

“ _Shambles._ ”

His jutte ended up attacking a damn rock.

“Mugiwara! Trafalgar!” He hollered out before rushing on outside. He wasn’t going to let these pirates get away!

Oddly enough however, neither pirate seemed interested in fighting him today… No Trafalgar was just using his _Room_ to keep moving them away from him. And considering that both captains were capable with Haki (especially Trafalgar being able to defeat Vergo…) it baffled him. It wasn’t like in Paradise when Mugiwara couldn’t attack him…

“Oh!” It was Mugiwara who piped up again, being dragged from behind by Trafalgar and their linked arms. “Smokey!” His other arm moved, tossing something at him.

It wasn’t laced with Haki so it couldn’t be an attack… and instinctively, he caught it. It was a piece of paper…

“Luffy-ya did you just—” Trafalgar sounded pissed. Irritated. Annoyed.

“Shishishi!” But Mugiwara was just laughing. “Of course, it’s _Smokey_ after all!” Totally ignorant to his… boyfriend’s agitation and turned back to him. “We’re getting married in a week, and you’re invited!”

…They’re getting _what?_

And did they just—

“ _Shambles._ ”

(It was said with great irritation, that Shambles.)

…And they were fucking gone. The Polar Tang. Of course. It was all making so much fucking sense now. They were planning their wedding and they were using the Polar Tang for subterfuge and who better to use than Nico Robin for such things….

Fucking pirates. Mother fucking pirates. And they had the fucking gall too…

He opened the crumpled piece of paper and there it was:

_You are invited to the wedding of Trafalgar D. Law and Monkey D. Luffy! Bring food, you’ll need it. Please meet us at…_

Really? **Really?!**

.xxx.

“But sir! You **have** to go! It’s a **wedding** invitation! You just **can’t** refuse!”

Smoker groaned. _Of course_ Tashigi would say that.

When he had returned to the ship he had been furious. He slammed the invite on the table, ranting about how insulting those pirates were by sending him this invite because he couldn’t just go there with ships to capture them. (That was just cowardice and had no honour.) And so they just basically told him that he can’t chase them down for at least a week.

And of course Tashigi…

“…they had thought of you while doing so! I mean we’ve been chasing them this long it only is right that we see this important event in their lives!”

Sometimes he wonders why he even kept her.

“You’re not going to shut up about this until I agree to go.”

It wasn’t a question; he already knew the answer,

“Nope! Now what are you going to wear? We need to find you…”

Smoker let out a large sigh. Just _what_ had he gotten himself tangled up into?

.xxx.

The damned suit Tashigi had stuff him into was uncomfortable and stuffy and no matter what he said about this being a _pirate’s_ wedding, she _insisted_ that they dress appropriately.

And when they walked in, well he momentarily had forgotten about the suit.

To say he felt unnumbered was putting it _lightly._

This was probably the most wanted area in history. Trafalgar Law and his crew. The Strawhats. If _that_ wasn’t enough, the fucking Red Hair pirates were here too. Oh and the remnants of the Whitebeard Pirates were here to see Ace’s little brother get married.

…How many fucking people did these guys know?

There also was a huge list of pirates that had escaped Dressrosa the same time of Doflamingo’s fall. A few of the warlords…

…And was that the fucking Princess of Alabasta in disguise over there?

(Never mind the revolutionary army for a moment.)

Tashigi went to put the food on one of the many tables when Smoker nearly had a heart attack as he continued to inspect the area.

Garp was to be expected, along with Coby and Helmeppo, but _Sengoku?_ What the hell was _Sengoku_ doing here?

“Now behave sir, like you promised.”

(Even _if_ he brought the entire fucking Navy here, he wasn’t too certain they’d win. No wonder why Luffy was so confident in giving him the invite.)

(Not that he’d even consider ratting them out anyway, and Mugiwara would have known that too.)

“…I don’t know what I was expecting…”

“Smokey!!!”

Mugiwara had just… catapulted himself over in his direction, and Trafalgar had appeared next to him, sighing.

“I told you he’d come Torao!”

“I hope you realise this changes nothing.” Smoker spoke with annoyance. Why was he even here? He had better things to do with his time than to spend it at a pirate’s wedding…

“Shishishi I know! Thanks for coming!” And then the couple went off in some other direction.

Smoker sighed before he sat down next to the only other Marines in the area.

“Smoker? What brings you here?”

That was Sengoku. “No fucking idea. This brat decided it was a brilliant idea to invite the Marine who has been on his tail since Logue Town. You?”

(Who would’ve ever thought he’d have such a casual conversation with the ex-Fleet Admiral at a pirate’s wedding…)

“Trafalgar Law is my son’s son. I guess. And Garp dragged me here.”

Sengoku had a son? He had no idea. Although it must be some indirect bonds binding them as family.

(He glanced at Sabo.)

Yeah something like that.

Tashigi was talking to Nami. Probably about those children from Punk Hazard.

“So why’s Tashigi here?”

Smoker sat back and unbuttoned his shirt – these were fucking pirates dammit – and lit a few cigars. “She insisted on ensuring I’m ‘on my best behaviour’ as she puts it.”

…Great Garp and Sengoku were laughing at him now.

“ **How** is any of this funny!”

“Nah, nah son.” Garp said through his fits of laughter. “I was just remembering back when I was your age and chasing Roger all over the place.”

He grumbled. _How_ he was ever going to survive the wedding… well it would be a miracle.

.xxx.

Things were crazy as the pirates often made them. Sabo had come over and virtually interrogated him about Luffy before wandering off. Nami had tried to blackmail him with a picture before Garp scolded and threatened her.

Tashigi and Roronoa got into a verbal spat again – she had too much alcohol in her system – and _she_ was the one trying to make sure he was behaving properly? Pah!

Mugiwara would occasionally pop by and ask a few questions before getting distracted by other things.

What really got him though was when Red Hair came over and just… laughed at the prospect of the Marines being at a pirate’s wedding.

It took the grooms, Sabo, and Sengoku to stop the spat between Garp and Red Hair.

That definitely would have ruined the wedding.

When everything was said and done, Smoker took a rather intoxicated Tashigi away from Zoro before getting onto their ship.

The last thing he wanted was to be around a bunch of hung over pirates.

“He shaid he wash gunna…”

“Enough about the **damn** swords Tashigi. Go drink some water and get to bed.” He groaned. The party was still going on; he could see the bonfires as they sailed away.

“So how was it Smokey?”

He could only groan again. “Chaotic.”

He would give them a week before he started his manhunt again. The couple deserved a honeymoon after all…


End file.
